BEND, OR—Local trail runner and self-proclaimed “professional broke athlete,” Josh Miller, has publicly vowed to never compete in the prestigious Ultra-Trail du Mont-Blanc (UTMB), citing the exorbitant entry fees and the cost of travel as his main deterrents.
“I mean, have you seen the price tag?” said Miller, who has run multiple local ultras but is currently avoiding his bank statements. “For the cost of one UTMB entry, I could fund a small nation or at least buy a lifetime supply of instant ramen.”
The Breakdown of Costs
Miller’s rejection of UTMB came after he conducted a highly scientific analysis of the expenses involved. He noted that, beyond the $300 entry fee, there are flights to Europe, accommodation, meals, and, of course, the crucial expense of a good pair of racing shoes—an investment he claims could rival the GDP of a small island.
“Let’s be real: my current ‘high-end’ running gear comes from last season’s clearance rack,” he explained. “Why would I drop a month’s rent just to run through picturesque scenery when I can have a glorious time on my local trails, dodging angry squirrels and the occasional mountain biker for free?”
A Call to Action
Miller’s stance has resonated with fellow trail runners who have embraced the ‘Broke Runner’ lifestyle. “Why pay for a fancy race when you can just hit up the local trails and save a ton of cash?” said teammate Sarah “Savings Account” Johnson. “We have the same breathtaking views, fewer crowds, and none of the overpriced energy gels.”
In an effort to raise awareness, Miller has launched a new campaign: “Run Broke, Live Free.” The initiative aims to inspire fellow runners to appreciate the beauty of their local trails without the burden of international travel and steep entry fees.
A Community of Support
Support for Miller’s cause has quickly gained traction, with a growing number of trail runners pledging to “stay local” instead of succumbing to the allure of big-name races. “I used to think UTMB was the Holy Grail of trail running,” confessed fellow ultra-enthusiast and self-proclaimed broke runner Mike “Two Pairs of Holes” Reynolds. “But now I realize that as long as I can get outside and feel the ground beneath my feet, I’m winning.”
A New Perspective on Running
While Miller has vowed to avoid UTMB, he has not closed the door on future races entirely. “I’d love to run a race that doesn’t require a second mortgage,” he mused. “Maybe I’ll set my sights on something like a community 5K where the biggest challenge is outrunning the guy with the donut cart at the finish line.”
As of press time, Miller was spotted leading a group of fellow trail runners in an impromptu “Broke Runner’s Fun Run,” where the only entry fee was a shared bag of discount trail mix. “Who needs a scenic European trail when you can get lost on the backroads of Bend?” he declared, as they set off with a collective sense of adventure and empty wallets.