In a tale as old as time, area father David Thompson, 62, is once again scratching his head in bewilderment as he tries to comprehend why his oldest child, 32-year-old Jordan Thompson, insists on participating in “extreme, nature-punishing, life-risking races” instead of just running standard marathons like his more straightforward, dependable younger brother, Tad.
“Look, I get it. Running is... fun?” Mr. Thompson began, pausing to glance over a packet of race information Jordan left on the kitchen counter. “But why can’t he just sign up for a regular 26.2-mile marathon like everyone else? You start at a point, you end at a point, you get a t-shirt. You don’t need to go into a desert or fight a mountain for a participation medal.”
Jordan, who recently completed a grueling 100-mile ultra-trail race through scorching temperatures and rugged terrain, maintains that his love for these extreme challenges is “about pushing boundaries, exploring nature, and testing the limits of human endurance.” However, his father insists that “pushing boundaries” just sounds like a nice way of saying “finding new ways to get injured.”
“We didn’t raise you this way,” Mr. Thompson continued, baffled. “Your mother and I—well, we ran one 5K in the ’80s, and we barely survived that. That was enough!”
In contrast, Tad Thompson, 28, seems to have hit the sweet spot for “socially acceptable running,” having participated in exactly two marathons per year, always at popular urban events that end with a beer garden and post-race pizza.
“Now that’s what I call a sensible race,” Mr. Thompson said proudly. “Tad just runs from Point A to Point B, gets his medal, maybe cramps a little, but he’s home by lunch. No wilderness rescues, no need for survival gear, no foot blisters that look like horror movie props. Just a nice, tidy marathon!”
Meanwhile, Jordan claims he feels “misunderstood” and says his dad’s criticism only fuels his desire to one day run “The Last Hero Standing” — a self-supporting, non-stop race across the entirety of Iceland. “It’s about doing something unique, something special,” he said, while icing his calves and eating a mix of wild-foraged berries he now swears by for “maximum endurance.”
At press time, Mr. Thompson was reportedly researching a new term he heard Jordan use — “sublimation through suffering” — but quickly abandoned the effort, muttering something about “back in my day, a run was just a run.”