In a display of silent superiority, area runner Kyle Morrison, 29, would like everyone to know that he, unlike “most runners,” prefers to tackle his 10-mile jogs without the aid of “external noise.” Sources close to Kyle confirm that his disdain for running playlists and podcasts is not only a personal choice but a central tenet of his identity, one he’s willing to share with anyone within earshot.
“You see, for me, running is about being present,” Kyle said, stretching his quads in an all-natural, unbranded way. “Most people just zone out, pumping in, I don’t know, EDM or pop, but I’m here for the experience. You miss so much when you’re just in your own world like that.”
Kyle’s conviction that he’s truly experiencing the run apparently stems from his belief that headphone users are missing out on the “real sounds of the neighborhood,” which, according to him, include barking dogs, honking cars, and the occasional stranger’s colorful commentary on his running form. “I don’t need a playlist to tell me how to feel,” he continued. “I get my motivation from the rhythm of my breath, the wind, the whispers of nature. You can’t get that from Top 40 hits.”
Despite his claims of inner peace and grounded focus, sources observed that Kyle has brought up his “pure, headphone-free” running style at least three times per group run, managing to convey both subtle judgment and open pity to his music-dependent friends. “I get it,” Kyle said, offering a compassionate shrug. “It’s hard for some people to be alone with their thoughts. But I think if they gave it a chance, they’d realize running without music is just… superior.”
At press time, Kyle was spotted holding up the start of the group run, enthusiastically recommending a book titled Running with Awareness: A Guide to Mindful Mileage, which he claimed was “like an audiobook, except, you know, better.”