BOULDER, CO—In a masterclass of social media storytelling, local ultra runner Jake “The Gram” Thompson has successfully transformed his recent “Did Not Finish” (DNF) at the Boulder Trail Ultra into a full-blown Instagram saga, complete with 13 meticulously curated posts.
“Honestly, I didn’t think I’d finish,” Jake admitted while sipping a post-run kombucha that he definitely didn't need. “But then I realized, if I document my failure, I can make it seem like an epic journey!”
1. The Anticipation Post
Jake started strong with a shot of his pre-race breakfast—an avocado toast topped with artisanal sea salt and a sprinkle of self-doubt. Caption: “Fueling up for a big day ahead! #Nutrition #Mindset #EpicFailInTheMaking”
2. The Starting Line Vibes
Next came a boomerang of him at the starting line, wearing a headband that screamed “serious athlete” while simultaneously looking like he just rolled out of bed. Caption: “Feeling pumped! Let’s do this! #StartingLine #UltraGoals”
3. Mile 10 Meltdown
After struggling through the first ten miles, Jake posted a selfie that captured his struggle. Sweat pouring down his face, he wrote, “What goes up must come down… and I am definitely coming down! #Mile10 #Humbled”
4. The Snack Break Revelation
Mid-race, he discovered the power of a well-timed snack break. He shared a photo of a peanut butter sandwich with the caption, “Fueling up with my secret weapon. Remember: ‘You miss 100% of the snacks you don’t take!’ #SnackLife #DNFInStyle”
5. The Scenic Detour
Feeling defeated but not ready to let it show, Jake took a scenic photo of a breathtaking mountain view. Caption: “Even if I don’t finish, at least the views are incredible! #NatureLover #SilverLinings”
6. The Dramatic Withdrawal
When he finally decided to drop out, Jake documented the moment with a picture of him sitting on a log, looking contemplative. Caption: “Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is know when to quit. #DNF #SelfCare”
7. The Post-Race Reflection
Back at home, he posted a candid shot of himself with a face mask on, looking every bit the ‘self-care guru.’ Caption: “Remember, it’s not about how you start but how you recover! #RecoveryMode #NailedIt”
8. The Supportive Squad
He then shared a photo with his fellow runners, who, unlike him, finished the race. Caption: “Couldn’t have made it without these legends! #SquadGoals #NextTime”
9. The 'What Did I Learn?' Post
Jake turned introspective with a minimalist photo of a notebook and a pen, indicating his newfound wisdom. Caption: “Lessons learned: always pack snacks, and maybe don’t underestimate the elevation! #GrowthMindset”
10. The Motivational Quote
To maintain engagement, Jake posted a stock photo of a mountain with an inspirational quote overlay. Caption: “Not all who wander are lost… some are just looking for the nearest snack bar! #Wisdom #TrailLife”
11. The Call to Action
In a bid to rally support, he shared a post encouraging others to share their own DNF stories. Caption: “Let’s hear your stories! Remember, it’s all about the journey, not the finish line. #DNFStories”
12. The FOMO Inducer
While lamenting his DNF, Jake found time to repost a friend's finish line photo, highlighting the contrast. Caption: “This could’ve been me… next year, I swear! #FOMO #Motivation”
13. The Closure Post
Finally, Jake wrapped up the saga with a post that simply read, “On to the next adventure!” This was accompanied by a picture of his running shoes, waiting eagerly by the door. Caption: “Already planning my next race. It’s all about the grind! #ChasingDreams”
At press time, Jake was reportedly drafting an outline for his upcoming ebook, How to Fail Gracefully: The Art of the DNF, which is set to launch in time for the next ultra season.